10. Big Dean's Cafe

Sweet summertime. It's an amazing time of year where the beaches and full, the beer's are coozied, and you become painfully aware how fat you've become over the winter months.

I love Los Angeles summers, they remind me why I live in this godforsaken dump of a town. And like most people who live in LA, what better time than the middle of a Wednesday to grab some bikes, roll down to the beach with your friend Brian (we all have one), soak up some sun and grab some burgers and beers.

After getting our incredibly heterosexual all-male tan on, Brian and I went to Big Dean's Cafe, just at the base of the Santa Monica pier. Naturally one would figure that anything at the Santa Monica pier would cater purely to tourists, and charge exorbitant prices for mediocre food.  I was happy to say I was mistaken!

Because we were on bikes, parking was more than ample. Big Dean's has a front and back patio with picnic style seating which lends itself to shared, social drinking. The front area is great for people watching and apparently is great for the Thursday evening live music events at the pier, says Brian.

The skinny of it all is that Big Dean's should be a place that niches itself into mediocrity. Thankfully, it's stayed true to it's beach-bum style and won't look down on you for ordering "The biggest plastic cup of Bud Light you have available." The beers are cold, cheap, and a perfect compliment to finishing up a super heterosexual all-male tan sesh.

The pride and joy of the Big Dean's menu are the burgers. The menu itself is simple and you'll find that burgers are your best bet. The long and short of it is that the burgers are just damn good, plain and simple. There's lots of meat, price is right, and the meat-to-bun ratio is perfect. According to Brian, "If you want to write about this place in that gay ass blog of yours, make sure to mention that the fries are no good, stick with the burgers." So also make note - the fries are no good.

The waiters at Big Dean's taking a well-deserved break.

Another great part of Big Dean's is the waiters. There's plenty of uber-sexy bikini babes walking the strand, so you don't need a D-cupped first-time waitress in a bikini mucking up your order because her boobies (not experience) got her a job at a beachfront bar. Every single waiter here looks like a mix between between  Sammy Hagar, Spiccoli and Patrick Swayze in Point Break. And because I shamefully probably also fall into that stonery, brosef, white dude demographic, they knew exactly how to serve me - not pushy, made genuinely funny jokes, and knew exactly when I did or didn't need a beer refill.

If you're into lazy beach days complimented with just the right food and drink, the Big Dean's really is a gem. You wouldn't expect a place like this nestled in with company like Fuddruckers and the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. But thankfully, it is. Just don't order the fries, says Brian.

Name: Big Dean's Cafe
Genre: Burgers and Beer
Value: Good and fair.
What You'll Need to Enjoy Your Meal: Sunglasses, sandals, and in lieu of a six-pack, a tank top.
Rating: 5 / 5